Anonymous Roomate

amehzing:

Yeah, this sounds like a girl with a couple of inconsiderate assholes for roommates, right?

Yeeeah. About that. 

Over the course of the last year and a half that I’ve lived with Cristina I have discovered that aside from being Alpha-type personalities she and I have nothing… and I mean NOTHING in common. Personality-wise she’s nice enough, however she has one distinct flaw… She’s incredibly and unknowningly inconsiderate.

Let’s start with a couple of stories, shall we? 

Our first semester living together my parents went on vacation to St. Lucia, a island country in the eastern Caribbean Sea. Well, they went during hurricane season like a couple of geniuses. Hurricane Tomas destroyed the island, leaving it impossible for them to get home more than a week past their expected return date. Our first concern was for my stepfather who is an insulin dependent diabetic. He’d brought enough insulin for the trip… They did not expect a hurricane to obliterate the roads. However, back home, my family, by which I mean myself and my uncle, were scrambling to get their flights rearranged, keep tabs on any after-shock weather, while running the business. I was commuting and hour one way from school to their shop every weekend to help with all of this. I came home one Monday night after I had left school to go to help at the shop, and only to return to both of my roommates telling me that there was an awful smell, they couldn’t find where it was coming from, etc. I was too tired to deal with it just then so the next morning when I got up to make my coffee I almost gagged.

Yep. There it was. The stink. So I did the usual; checked the trash, the sink drain, the air vents, then played “What Doesn’t Belong”. Before I’d left, that Thursday night Cristina brought home groceries. I also had a friend come over and we did a little drinking to help me relax. In the chair of the dining room there were a couple of grocery bags. Cristina’s. I opened the first bag, a jar of Alfredo sauce. Not that. The second bag held a package of raw chicken… Bingo. I’d have put the bag of rancid smelling rotting raw chicken in her room and closed the door but she locked her door when she’d left that morning. So I bagged it up, threw it away and wrote a really nasty note which I taped to her door basically telling her I didn’t have the time nor the energy to having to come home from four days of running a business, doing school work, and trying to get my parents home from a foreign country and clean up after her lazy and inconsiderate ass. When I actually confronted her about it she said she thought the bags were mine because when my friend showed up he had bags… However his bags were from the ABC store and black… Not from Martins and holding the raw meat. 

There was also the cheddar soup fiasco. For three days a pot of her cheddar and veggie soup say on the stove. By the third day I could smell it so thickly I wanted to puke. Finally, one morning before I’d had my coffee I stopped her at the door.

“Is that yours?”

“What?”, came her reply.

I tried to keep my tone even as I leaned on the sink, I’m sure the strain was obvious in my voice, “The pot of soup on the stove… It REEKS.”

“Oh… I have a stuffy nose… I can’t smell anything.” She says by means of explanation. 

…………Yeah.

Over the course of our living together she leaves out trash on the counter tops, cooks and then doesn’t clean off the stove top, lets food drip down into the burner catch and doesn’t clean them out until the food has BURNED the metal. I would give appropriate blame to my other roommate but she really doesn’t use the stove top that often, she mostly mircowaves. Used paper towels bloom like mushrooms after a rain in the kitchen. She leaves food in the strainers in the sinks and when it fills up, removes it to fill the drain… of the sink that DOESN’T have the disposal. She’ll leave the food she’s cooked on the stove for the rest of us to work around. She’ll forget she’s put something in a tupperware container in the fridge and, of course, because you don’t fuck with someone else’s food, it isn’t until I notice that it’s been there for several weeks/months before I begin to worry that it’s becoming sentient. At that point I ask her and my other roommate, neither of whom claims it and it gets shit canned. I know for a fact that it’s hers because it’s food that neither I nor my other roommate eats. She’ll leave the trash over flowing regardless of the fact that there is a dumpster right outside our building, stacking trash up in a full trashcan because it’s inconvenient to walk an extra 20 feet to the dumpster next to our building. Her dirty cleaning rags are often found, still dirty, on the floor of the laundry room. And if the hand towels in the kitchen are dirty they join them. And when she does her laundry, for some reason, she never seems to wash those dirty towels with her nice clothes. Let is now look at the state of her room vs. the fact she can’t seem to clean up after herself for shit. Her room is immaculately tidy and neat without so much as a fucking piece of paper on the carpet. She has no problem, however, leaving shit out in the common areas (but god forbid if someone else does).

Often times I am the one to do the floor washing and vacuuming. I get sick of the shit on the counter and go to town. Fill the sink with Lysol and hot water and clean EVERYTHING.. but as of this semester I have refused to clean anything that I have not dirtiedbesides the normal dusting vacuuming and wiping down.

I claim responsibility for the “food residue” on the coffee table, only it was salt from a salt water solution I used for a sea salt soak on my new piercings. The food stains on the floor, walls, and counter tops are things that I’ve cleaned every single time I’ve cleaned at this apartment. Those are things that happen and very easily go unnoticed until a good thorough cleaning is done. I rarely use the mircrowave. However whenever I have cleaned the kitchen REALLY well or I have cleaned the dining and living areas REALLY well… She doesn’t give a shit that I’ve worked really hard on it. The counters will often have crap on them again. The stove and the inside of the microwave goes the way that shit does and the next day there’s food on/in them. Regardless of the fact that I cleaned up for everyone I have not complained because really I saw no point in it because in my mind it took three to get that dirty, I had a part in it too. I have not complained to Cristina for the fact that her habits of failing to clean up after herself because in and of itself it is not a completely awful thing, just irritating as hell because I really want to clean up after her. I really do, but I don’t because she needs to learn how to do it herself.

With that in mind her note is my last straw. The SEVERAL times I have cleaned to just as much an extent she has this past weekend I have never once complained when my roommates and I mess it up again. 

What really gets me about this this note is the line: “It takes a few seconds to clean after yourself. Out of courtesy to each other please just clean after yourself. It’s only fair and someone else shouldn’t have to do it.”

I have cleaned up after her ass more times than I care to remember. I find it hilarious that the semester I stop cleaning up after others is the semester she pulls this shit. 

Through all of this I live with my mantra: “She’s gone in May”